Heyo Astro Students!
This post is to let you know about a new feature at Astro Hacks. We call it Get Your Natal Chart Zapped.
What to do
Basically, if you’re up for it, you send in your chart and one pithy paragraph about yourself. Make it read like the author bio on the back of a dust jacket. (No need to get too forensic about it). But, i you need inspiration, here’s an example from Mr Von Flanagan. He clearly has Mercury conjunct Saturn in the 11th trine Uranus in the third … with Aquarius rising on the Mercury/Uranus midpoint.
McSweedy Von Flanagan the Third is the author of several brilliant literary masterpieces, the most notable of which being, The End Is Near! A story distributed in spoken word by this team of homeless doomsday prophets. An amateur archaeologist, and self proclaimed aficionado of everything really old, Von Flanagan has etched his newest book, I’m Not Crazy, You Are, into clay tablets using only Sumerian hieroglyphs and the letter Q. Asked about his unorthodox approach to publishing, Von Flanagan said, “I’m a genius. If people want to read my books they should have to translate them. They’ll appreciate them more.”
Have fun, but make it relevant!
What happens next
From the submissions will be chosen a chart that Mystic, Kim Falconer and all of you students can give their opinion on.
It’s awesome practice, weather you’re doing the reading, or being read, so jump into Get Your Natal Chart Zapped, if you are keen.
We’ll put the first few examples here, depending on how many comments pour in. It would be amazing for this to be an ongoing thing.
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Note: The glyph for Uranus is in alt form – like Mars with a dot in the middle.
Melissa is a charming witch.
The crown on her head is made of polished mountain crystals and she wears it day and night. Especially when driving. It helps so much against the road rage. And her road rage can be intense and unforgiving. She can stalk your car for miles.
You know she’s your friend, if she starts prescribing you immune boosting herbs and mushrooms she’s gathered in the wilderness at full moon. And offers to „look into your future“, while she shuffles her cards and polishes her Crystal.
If she’s not your friend, you’ll be the last to know. Ground up herbs all looks he same.
She trusts no one, because she’s seen it all. Her pattern recognition skills are on CIA levels, and her friends, worshipers and lovers call her Sherlock only half jokingly. They would never dare make a full joke.
Her army of tiny lapdogs is trained with the discipline of a dictator. All sit, salute and bark to the beat of her Tibetan drum. Men do, too.
Yet, she is a wanderer. Here today, gone tomorrow. Off to China, India, Miami or the Moon in the wink of a green eye. If you’re her friend, she will leave the lapdogs with you. You will be so proud at this rare sign of trust.
When she returns, she will dazzle you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen.
And maybe bring you the man bun of the guy that broke your heart.
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Image by Charlotte Wales